questionsonly: (glasses: smug)
Colonel Warren Kepler ([personal profile] questionsonly) wrote in [community profile] agoodyarn2022-08-28 09:43 pm

When We Were Monsters (Magnus 359)

[ Death is a funny thing.

For normal people, it's an end. For people like them, like him and Jacobi and others... it's a choice. It's a moment when you decide whether you want to rest... or if there's something stronger in you. A need, a drive that's stronger than what your body can't handle. Something that defies the End, sends you towards a different path.

A path with teeth.

A path with claws.

A path that has him experiencing the most agonizing pain he's ever known, that has him burning and freezing and screaming wordlessly into the empty vacuum of space. Even the burn of the whiskey down his throat is lost in it, in all of it, flavor and meaning and words and thoughts and everything, everything lost to the drive, the need

the Hunt.

It's agony. Agony as he reaches and holds. Agony as he floats and burns and dies and does not die. And when the Goddard follow up crew finds him, moves to recover his body, he gives one of their officers the scare of their life when he sits up on the table.

Not for long, though, because their throat is in his teeth before he can even think.





Suffice to say, things on board do not go... peacefully.

But that's not really the important part. That's just the inbetween. That's just the how. It's not the why. It's not the what.

The what comes months later.

The what comes in a knock on Jacobi's door from a man in sunglasses and a Goddard Futuristics uniform that most people wouldn't realize has blood on it, but the man behind the door? There's no way he'd miss it.]
mrballisticsdummy: (I am that good)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-29 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Jacobi had given up on that dream a long time ago. Much like 2011, he spiraled out into nothingness, content to live this life of absolute drudgery because, well, what else can he do. But there's something in Warren's tone that brings the passion back to life. That anger reignites.

"Good," he says softly. "I want to help."

The rest of it is inconsequential. The differences between Warren then and Warren now? Something to examine for another day. Jacobi knows he will have to see it, to experience it, first.

And he's back beside him, as close as he can manage. Because, as he's starting to see, he can.
mrballisticsdummy: (who these four yahoos are)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-29 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
He wasn't, but is now, back in his arms and in his lap and against him, feeling every movement of muscle that Jacobi already had memorized. But now he can feel it.

He tries to push him away, but his movements are feeble, obvious grasps at control that he doesn't actually want.

"Then I definitely want in." Unlike Kepler, Jacobi had always liked getting dirty. Digging in. Hurting in every way he could. He just kept his discipline because he had to.
mrballisticsdummy: (from the perspective of the fireworks)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-29 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
A shudder absolutely tears through him at those words and he can see it. He can imagine it. Tearing through each one of them like so much tissue paper.

And that anger towards him goes away. At least for the moment. Because there's no better way to show love for a person than Scorched. Fucking. Earth. In their absence.

His laugh is - a little cruel. "Remember how I said you'd have to try harder? This is exactly what I meant."

He digs fingers into his arm, wanting the pressure it gives.
mrballisticsdummy: (me and my very official clipboard)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-29 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Another laugh, just as cruel, and he takes a moment, just a moment, to marvel at how easy it was to fall into this. To let the floodgates open and embrace that part of himself that he always kept in check.

"You should have led with that," he tells him, raking nails up and underneath his shirt, along his back. "I've been so - well, like I was. When we first met. This is the second time you've brought me out of it."
mrballisticsdummy: (need to be real quiet about it)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-29 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"No games. No - evasion." It's a difficult concept to wrap his mind around. Certainly more difficult than this part, the physical part. But he's not inclined to follow orders anymore and he's not living by Goddard's rules. He didn't, not at the end, not when he was angry, and not now.

No questions. No complaints. Those are harder habits to break.

The little nip gets a smile. "Did you really rip his throat out with those teeth?" he wonders, flicking his tongue once against Kepler's lips.
mrballisticsdummy: (what about that dial)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Yuck," he says with a smile on his face and no disgust in his tone. "What did you do to the assistant?"

He can't be afraid of Kepler or what he does. In fact, he can't think of a time when he was genuinely afraid of him. Afraid of consequences? Yes. Afraid of being yelled at because his bad mood makes the day drag on? Of course. But actually afraid of him. Never.

Even now, seeing those teeth and knowing those claws exist and feeling, on his own, the strength he possesses...there is no fear. He thinks, in a vague way, that there should be, but he can't force it.
mrballisticsdummy: (then I got to work)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
"Good to know," he says with actual enthusiasm. "How did you get back?"

Because now he's just enjoying the sound of his voice. Hes enjoying asking questions and getting ateaight answers. Not sifting through an hour-long story just for scraps of information. His hands still press into his back and he dodges the last kiss in favor of pressing lips against his jaw instead. Taking a little initiative of his own. Keeping him talking so he can press against him.
mrballisticsdummy: (Celebratory gloating)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
"Did you call me baby?"

He sits back and stares at him. Because, yes, that's what he has chosen to comment on. Everything else is cut and dry. He had a ship. He got back. He found Jacobi. Clothes in the car. He has no follow up to that. Nothing that he wants to know.

"No one has ever called me that before. Not even - well, the others."
mrballisticsdummy: (need to be real quiet about it)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
He's never going to get used to that. The plain talking. The outright truth with not much underneath. All his feelings laid bare.

It occurs to him, only briefly, the amount of information that he's been forced to accept in a short amount of time, but, frankly, he's almost had worse.

"Definitely not that, no."

Again, another kiss pressed to his jaw, right under his ear and he lingers a while. "This is insane. You realize that, right?"
mrballisticsdummy: (unconventional grieving process)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
He shivers for another reason and turns somber, the playfulness seared from his breath.

"No. But - I dreamed about you. About that. I had nightmares about you being alone out there, suffering."

And now he knows it wasn't just a nightmare, that it was real, it hurts. "But I never forgot you. So if you're a little insane, but you're still with me? Here? It's a small price to pay."
mrballisticsdummy: (me and my very official clipboard)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
"You put a lot of faith in me," he scoffs, as if that hasn't been Kepler's purpose the entire time. But Jacobi has always risen to that challenge, so this shouldn't be any different. At least that's what he tells himself. It's a beautiful lie that has the potential for reality, as long as he puts work into it.

And that, combined with Kepler's continued nonchalance about the whole situation, helps restore his better mood after a temporary dip.

"Well, I'm all put of complaints. And excuses. For now." And so he fills that gap with a kiss, sliding his hands under his shirt.
mrballisticsdummy: (from the perspective of the fireworks)

[personal profile] mrballisticsdummy 2022-08-30 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
It's odd to feel what his eyes have memorized. So many cumulative hours on watching and staring behind sunglasses or from under his hat or from across the room. So many pangs of jealousy when someone else's hands were on him.

Now they're Jacobi's deft fingers, and all he wants is to keep going, and take all of him in in at once.

Without saying anything, without needing to, he drags himself away from the kiss and off of the couch. He takes his hand and gives him a guiding tug.

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