Okay well Charlie has never wanted anything inside him more than he wants whatever the fuck that was, but anyway.

With anyone else, especially in a small town, he'd be a lot more scared. With John, a part of him that's horny-stupid is running rehearsals on how to explain really convincingly that John shouldn't mention certain things to anyone else because they're bad, but should be really cool with them himself because they're good.

"You, uh, got some distance there, kid," he says, feeling like the village idiot trying to play it cool and low-key with pink cheeks and a damp forehead. "Went off like a firehose." Shut up shut up shut up.